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The Quatro dictionary of words
all my rhymes, observations, and neurotic tendencies concerning words

A poem for you:

I call this one "screw the dyslexics"

If you say spring, the words spring from your throat to your mouth. Pretty cool right?

Here's another fun experiment to try at home:

There are voices in your head, regardless of a formal diagnosis, and here is an easy way to find them.
As you are reading this you are likely using your internal monologue voice, which is your own voice, but there exists voices in your head that are not your own AND HE CAN SCREAM OUT THESE WORDS!! woah. He's too intense. Luckily there is a softer voice in your head a little whisper can you even hear them? At least we aren't screaming anymore. Hang on, do you hear that? One of your voices is stuck in a cave!
"Hey could you help me out here!!   ....here!" You can even hear cool new voices from just a picture, for example what does this swamp guys voice sound like to you?

Cool, right? Now what does this guy sound like?
HEY! You dirty dog you, be glad that voice is only in your head.

Assorted words on words:
A.K.A. useless words

I ain't doin' nothin! which is to say: I am doing something

paper clip: To clip paper or paper to be clipped? that is the question.

pony bologna: These words should NOT rhyme

I never say nothin interesting to no-one!

Quatro's Questions:
Why don't these contractions make sense?

"Don't you forget about me" becomes "Do not you forget about me."
Not exactly a chart-topper.
"Isn't this the coolest web page?" becomes "Is not this the coolest web page?"
EUGH! Aren't three examples enough? Are not three examples enough??

MOVING ON!

Maybe you could care less about this page,
Because you do care
At least a little

"Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience Economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms Affordable prices, money-back guarantee Free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations Free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation With our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and Knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a Selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe Custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select Gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking No purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary Bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer Luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination Key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine Imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of Saying thank you Actually, it's our way of saying 'Bend over just a little farther So we can stick this big advertising dick up your ass a little bit Deeper, a little bit deeper, a little bit DEEPER, you miserable No-good dumbass fucking consumer!'" "I’m a modern man, A man for the millennium, Digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded. I’ve been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high tech lowlife. A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker, And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. (The rest after the jump…) I’m new wave but I’m old school, And my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer, Voice activated and biodegradable. I interface from a database, And my database is in cyberspace, So I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive, And from time-to-time, I’m radioactive. Behind the eight ball, Ahead of the curve, Riding the wave, Dodging a bullet, Pushing the envelope. I’m on point, On task, On message, And off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, On the edge, Over the top, But under the radar. A high concept, Low profile, Medium range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic. A working ragaholic. Out of rehab, And in denial. I got a personal trainer, A personal shopper, A personal assistant, And a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, You can’t dumb me down. ‘Cause I’m tireless, And I’m wireless. I’m an alpha male on beta blockers. I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever. Laid back but fashion forward. Up front, Down home, Low rent, High maintenance. Super size, Long lasting, High definition, Fast acting, Oven ready, And built to last. I’m a hands on, Foot loose, Knee jerk, Head case. Prematurely post traumatic, And I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver. My output is down, But my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, And my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I’m gender specific, Capital intensive, User friendly, And lactose intolerant. I like rough sex. I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the f word in my email, And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m toll free, Bite sized, Ready to wear, And I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, Factory authorized, Hospital tested, Clinically proven, Scientifically formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-washed, Pre-cooked, Pre-heated, Pre-screened, Pre-approved, Pre-packaged, Post-dated, Freeze-dried, Double-wrapped, Vacuum-packed, And I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I’m a rude dude, But I’m the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride. Drivin’ and movin’, Sailin’ and spinnin’, Jivin’ and groovin’, Wailin’ and winnin’. I don’t snooze, So I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal, And the rubber on the road. I party hearty, And lunch time is crunch time. I’m hanging in, There ain’t no doubt. And I’m hanging tough, Over and out."

And of course: WORD TEEVEE!

and if you are still here, enjoy a favorite poem? of mine, by Lenny Bruce

Psychopathia Sexualis
I'm in love with a horse that comes from Dallas
Poor neurotica me!

When my family found out they raised the roof
'Cause I bought a ring to fit her hoof
Poor brain, the size of a pea

She looked so nice against the rail
With her pretty long legs and her pony tail
I guess against convention I'll never win
I'll probably end up in the loony bin
But in my heart I'll always be free

The head shrinker said my societal concept had been
Warped by an Oedipus Rex
Which caused me to hate the opposite sex
But what he doesn't know is that my second wife
Was a ten pound goose named Dex

I'm paranoid and subliminated
In love with a horse that ain't been spaded
Traumatic scene please let me be
I been hypnotized, tranquilized, analyzed, rationalized
Taken every pill from Seconal to Dexamyl
Sitting with my wife necking in the dark
And knowing her ex-lovers are running at Hollywood Park
Can be a bug I will admit
But it's all made up when I see her running around the house
In a negligee, brace and bit

Like most young couples we had our fights
Deciding what's fair about her rights
We finally got adjusted and I was boss
When I woke one mornig and on the lawn I found a firey cross

The Ku Klux Klan said we had to get out that day
"Move everything! Lock, stock, horse and carriage!"
The Klan wouldn't stand for no mixed marriage

So I'm feeling blue
Ain't got a penny in my pocket
We're gonna volunteer for a satellite rocket
So me and her can sit and spoon
And visit my first wife
Who jumped over the moon

This marks the second time I have showcased a poem about, what they call, animal husbandry

You are now an expert at words
Join us next week when we cover algebra